Conscious parenting is not a child-rearing guide. It is a guide that raises parents' self-awareness and thus shows the way to raise happy and healthy children.
The mainstream culture’s perspective of parenting is all about the child. The traditional parenting focuses merely on the child, leaving the parent out of the big picture. This might seem logical in certain ways but there are dangers, blind spots and a great room for expansion.
When we think that parenting is all about the child, it makes the parent look outward; parents only focus on fixing and managing the child. Traditional parenting gives us the illusion that if child is ‘managed’, the job is done. We all want to make sure our child is happy and successful. If things go well, fine. But when things don’t go as planned and nothing works, we are left alone in darkness, seeking new answers, not knowing where to even look for them. We turn to discipline and constrictions without really knowing whether we are on the right path or not. With all the good intentions we try to find our way. However, we can’t resolve our problems, we run out of answers, we even run out of questions. Now we are left with nowhere else to go and we realize that we are stuck. This is where the traditional parenting model ends and a genuine need for a deeper understanding arises, if not a loud heartful cry for help.
Conscious parenting is a whole new way of living and parenting for us to live better and thrive.
Today, what we need as parents is higher self-awareness and a deeper connection with ourselves. Conscious parenting answers those needs, while it truly shifts the traditional parenting paradigm. It asks new questions and provides new answers that take us out and beyond our stuckness into higher awareness. Conscious parenting leads us into a more conscious, healthy, balanced, and loving life.
Conscious parenting is about the child’s well-being; and it puts the challenge and the responsibility on the parent. It is not just about raising the child; it is about ‘raising the parent’.
We as parents need to turn within to understand ourselves and our true needs better. We need to be loving and compassionate towards ourselves. We need to prioritize ourselves and put the oxygen mask on ourselves first, so to say.
Now it is time to ask new questions and seek new answers to go beyond our stuckness.
Question: Do I care enough for my well-being so that I can take care of my child in the best way?
We cannot serve endlessly from an empty cup. We need to take time for ourselves, feel our feelings, become aware of our needs. Only then our healthy state will nourish our child.
Self-awareness practice: Ask yourself today, do I fill my own cup? How can I fill it a little more every day?
Conscious parenting is turning within and learning new ways to better connect with yourself through mindfulness practices and conscious self-inquiry.
Question: Thinking of my challenging experiences with my child, what are they telling me about my inner state and my emotions?
All of us carry a psychological baggage. If we don’t tend to that baggage, we might project them onto our children. Most of us were raised by unconscious parents who had all the good intentions but didn’t know that they had to look within. Now conscious parents are breaking this cycle, changing the paradigm, taking care of themselves and their children in a whole new, conscious way.
Self-awareness practice: Ask yourself today, what unhealed baggage is challenging me and effecting my relationship with my child?
Conscious parenting is acknowledging our ego and looking beyond it with a higher self-awareness.
Question: What is my child feeling right now and what is it arousing in me? Why do I feel triggered? Is this just about my child, or is it about me?
We unconsciously mold and manage and our kids into our needs. Conscious parenting, on the other hand, allows us to become aware of our and their true need. As we become conscious parents, we learn to be fully present in the moment while spending time with our child, recognizing our own feelings as well as theirs, beyond arguments and triggers.
Self-awareness practice: Ask yourself today, what am I feeling right now, what is my child feeling in this moment?
Conscious parenting is about connecting with your child’s authentic self, taking our ego and triggers off the way.
Question: How can I and my child thrive?
There is no traditional sense of discipline in the conscious parenting realm. Instead, there is a higher perspective that you can cultivate by asking yourself the below questions:
-How can I connect with myself and my child?
-How can I nourish a deeper connection with myself and my child right now?
-How can I create the conditions at home that provide healthy boundaries for me and my child to thrive?
From this day on, you would truly benefit from choosing to acknowledge your child as an autonomous, sovereign being. Being present with your children without managing them; just being there, emotionally available, with a loving awareness is the key. This golden key will allow you, your child and your parenting skills to thrive.
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